(Make-Out) Song Of The Week - "Even In The Dark" by Company Of Thieves

This week's song shouldn't be used for some one-night-stand type of chick. I suggest playing this track after you've already taken her out, invited her back to your place, dimmed the lights, poured the wine, and are full cozy on your (un)roomy love seat. Company Of Thieves don't necessarily make music for wet lips ...and respectively so. However, this song has a sub-mood of sensuality and intimacy that only works when you're making out with a female who may actually mean something to you. If you listen to this song alone (which I have many times in my car), I feel absolutely lonely. Weird, huh? Put it on in the background, while entertaining a female, and it will bring you two together .....like two ships passing in the night (yeah, I know).

While this track isn't from their latest effort, Running From A Gamble (...uh oh), the new record is definitely worth picking up ....after she's long gone the following day, of course.

Appeciate Your Relationship While You Still Have It!

Maybe many relationships end prematurely are due to a lack of appreciation for what you have. We all know "the grass is greener" theory and for the most part, it is not a theory. It's true. Too many of us end relationships before they've had time to develop or we end up straying because we don't realize the gold in our hands. Of course we don't see that gold until it has washed away.

I've been single for almost a year now and I didn't ask to be single. But when I was in the relationship (and happy), I remember telling myself to remember these warm moments because some day, I may not have it always. I'm glad I cherished those moments and I don't say this because I'm longing for her again. It's important to remember what makes our hearts feel most alive because those moments are such rarities for many of us. And when we don't take a second to value the relationship, it can easily disappear with the tide.

I'm glad I remember those memories because it saves me from not having to be a complete whore. It made me appreciate romance and substance. Those quickies don't mean shit once you've tasted love. And all of those females that come in-and-out of your life, faster than your digestive system, mean something too. It makes you appreciate the very, very few females who made your heart feel real .....and all the others seem so disposable.

 In other words, take more mental pictures.

Pity Dates: Accept or Decline?

It's a Saturday night and your evening's options are low. Suddenly, you get a text message from a female that you're sort of into. She's cute and somewhat enjoyable, but more importantly -- she's available and wants to see you. You're not totally into her, or maybe you're not feeling whatsoever. But hey, that doesn't matter tonight. She's down to hang out and she's female company, so you an use her as practice.

Now, you can either think of her as an easy hook-up or just some chick to kick it with. The good thing about pity dates is you don't have to put too much effort into the evening. Most likely, she's already into you so you can  probably make shit happen without the need for alcohol (it's up to you though -- whether you it more than her).

Most of the time, you should try to conduct this date at either her place or yours. You're not trying to take her around town and spend a ton of money, so its important to remain economical to keep your loses down. Also, if you're only looking for physical pleasure, just cut to the chase. Spend some time inside, watch a movie, and let her cuddle on you. If it goes somewhere, that's great! If it doesn't, you didn't lose much for an evening that would've been spent alone in bed anyway.

I say accept it. She'll make for good dating practice.

(Make-Out) Song Of The Week - "The Best I Ever Had" by The Swellers

Who said you can't make-out to punk? Nobody, that's who! When you play this track during your sesh, you definitely won't forget the broad that you hooked-up with ....even if she wasn't the best you ever had. However, The Swellers will take you on a thrill ride of lip-locking. It might even bring you from the couch to the bed. Just don't start thinking about old flames and become melancholy. Treat this chick like she will be the best, even though she might not be. Man, I sound like such a sleazy dick.

If this song isn't for you, grow a pair of balls and play some pussy R&B ....or wait for next week's song. Whatever you do, don't get emotional, unless you want to.

Resurrecting Old Relationships: Why Bother?

You miss her. We understand. But why do you want her back? Because you feel lonely? Horny? Incomplete? Unfinished? Maybe you should put your phone down and back away slowly. In order to be fully aware why you aren't currently together, you must backtrack as to why the relationship was unsuccessful to begin with.

There's always a reason as to why serious relationships may end. Its easy to romanticize the time you had together and make yourself believe she was the best you ever had. But when you dig deep and reflect, there are always signs as to why it ended -- arguing, lying, cheating, disagreements, growing apart, and many times just not compatible, but that's tough to admit. But if you try to revive a dead relationships, the cause of death may still be cancerous no matter how hard you tell yourself that it will be different.

The only way I see an old relationship can ever truly live again is with lots and lots of time for personal growth and evolution. The two people you were did not work. Just accept it. But down the line,  if you two have grown significantly on your own and happen to reunite, a new romantic future might stand a chance. To be honest, you'll never get your old relationship back but it can possibly see life in a new body. However, as you evolve by yourself, you might find that you've outgrown her and will no longer want her back.

Either way, don't make any hasty decisions. Utilize your guy friends. They help tremendously. Also, see Placeholders: The "In-Between" Girlfriends -- it might help)

A Female Perspective - Fantasy Relationships: Knowing When To Quit!

(By guest female writer, Hanna B)

 At some point or another, all women are guilty of this; creating a "fantasy relationship" out of thin air. This may happen when you’re crushing on that cute guy at work, flirting with the smart guy in your sociology class, or while you’re seeing someone who is clearly not looking for anything serious.

Let’s face it -- we start by spending time with them even though we know they’re not the relationship type. We tell ourselves; “It’s okay if he doesn’t want anything serious. I just want to have a good time. He’s so cute!” We settle for a guy who just wants to mess around, instead of moving on and waiting for the guy who will treat us right. Why do we do this? Because we think we will ultimately change his mind and make him change his rules?

Men don’t change their minds or their rules. When they have made up their mind about something, you better believe they will stick to it. If he’s already pegged you as the “just for fun” type of girl, he won’t see you as anything different. We believe that our good nature, sweet smile, and fun-to-be-around personality will change their minds about a relationship. But the only person that can change his mind is himself.

By letting ourselves get carried away and putting our energy into a guy who is not planning on sticking around, we are selling ourselves short. We deserve a guy who is willing to put in the time and effort that we put in everyday. Stop yourself from trying to "read between the lines". Pay attention to his actions and what he’s really saying. Here are some signs that the guy, you’re seeing, does not want a relationship and it’s time to move on:

1. He tells you he’s "really busy right now" and doesn’t have time for anything serious.
2. He makes excuses for why he hasn’t texted you, called you, or communicated with you at all that day.
3. He usually doesn’t invite you on outings with his friends or family.
4. He is unwilling to show any signs of affection in public. (Some guys are not into PDA, but if he won’t even hold your hand when you're out ...come on!)
5. He wants to stay inside a lot and “cuddle” (aka not cuddling).
6. He has money but seems unwilling to pay for anything; including a dinner, movie ticket, or coffee (Doesn’t have to be much, even a simple coffee will suffice.)

Don’t ignore the signs, and don’t think that because he suddenly did something semi-romantic, such as took you out for dinner, that he has changed his mind about a relationship. Unless he takes action and actually asks you to be exclusive, don’t let yourself get carried away. It’s OK to casually date as long as you know that’s all it is.

If you want something more, don’t settle for less because you deserve to be happy. I recently read a book titled, “Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl” by Sherry Argov. If you always seem to choose the wrong guy, give way too much of yourself (while receiving nothing in return), or just need some woman-empowerment, then I suggest you pick up this book.

(Make-Out) Song Of The Week - "Love, Love, Love (Love, Love)" by As Tall As Lions

This week's song can fit a few different moods, depending on what your intentions are (that didn't sound right). Even though the title enforces a stern topic, the feel of this track is also very lustful. It may be one of the best 'make-out' songs unintentionally created to be. It's passionate yet seductively sexual. I hope I'm not the only one who feels this way. It makes me want to have the sloppiest kissing session ever, which would then lead to ripping each other's' clothes off. At the same time, I want to hold that person and ask her to runaway together ....even if I didn't mean it. This can't be healthy. As Tall As Lions needs to be prescribed with a lower dosage. Ah!

I advise you to only play this song with someone you really like. Otherwise, you may make a dumb mistake due to over-consumption of love, love, love, love, love ......get it?