Appeciate Your Relationship While You Still Have It!

Maybe many relationships end prematurely are due to a lack of appreciation for what you have. We all know "the grass is greener" theory and for the most part, it is not a theory. It's true. Too many of us end relationships before they've had time to develop or we end up straying because we don't realize the gold in our hands. Of course we don't see that gold until it has washed away.

I've been single for almost a year now and I didn't ask to be single. But when I was in the relationship (and happy), I remember telling myself to remember these warm moments because some day, I may not have it always. I'm glad I cherished those moments and I don't say this because I'm longing for her again. It's important to remember what makes our hearts feel most alive because those moments are such rarities for many of us. And when we don't take a second to value the relationship, it can easily disappear with the tide.

I'm glad I remember those memories because it saves me from not having to be a complete whore. It made me appreciate romance and substance. Those quickies don't mean shit once you've tasted love. And all of those females that come in-and-out of your life, faster than your digestive system, mean something too. It makes you appreciate the very, very few females who made your heart feel real .....and all the others seem so disposable.

 In other words, take more mental pictures.

Dating Etiquette 101: Courtesy Counts!

While living in a modern, self-centered, narcissistic world, we sometimes forget the manors our parents taught us when we were tots .....or if you're part of the growing trend of being raised by crappy, neglectful parents, then you have no manors and you're the spawn of low class assh*les.

But hey, don't worry! That's why we're here to teach you little courteous gestures that can go a long way with a woman. Follow these simple steps:

Let her suggest the activity.
Forget what those macho, chauvinistic men say. When making plans to go on a date, ask her what she'd like to do and where she'd like to do. It's completely fine to add your input but do it together. This isn't a dictatorship. Ask what she'd like to do first and build upon her idea. She shouldn't need to be at your pleasurable mercy.

Greet her at her door.
There's no need to honk your obnoxious horn from the street. Taking those few measly steps to ring her doorbell will show her you put that tiny extra bit of effort to make her special.

Open the car door for her.
It's okay to be a little old fashion. You're taking her out on a date. She isn't your buddy that you go bar-hopping with. If you already greeted her at her door, this should be a fairly easy step since you're both walking to the same vehicle!

Open the door for her when you enter the date-activity.
Whether it be a restaurant, bar, movie theater, or blood donation center; if you don't open the door for your date, you should probably take her back home and apologize for wasting her time.

Pull out her chair before she sits.
Again, an oldie but a goodie. She really won't expect this one (isn't that sad?) but I bet she'll be quite impressed by your gentleman-like nature.


Offer to pay but DO NOT insist.
Today's modern woman varies. Some like traditionalism. Others are widely offended by the antique notion. There's no reason you can't offer to pay ....you should, especially if you asked her out. However, if she seems firm about splitting the bill (or paying) then don't put up a fight. This can be tricky because you may think she's trying to call your bluff. And sometimes, she is. But feel it out. Feel her out. That's why you're sitting down to dinner and/or drinks ....to get more acquainted with who she is. Movies take less time but this might be a good opportunity to order your tickets online. It's thoughtful and there's no room for debate.

Don't make it a one-time thing!
Follow these simple steps of simple detail and you will easily raise your chances of getting another date. Just don't forget -- make courtesy a habit! You have to keep the kindness going, even after you get into a relationship. Integrate courteousness into your attributes. Not just for a woman, but in society. They go a long way....and maybe your potential, future relationship will too.

Bumping Into Your Ex: How Do You Act?

Let's be honest ....it's never a comfortable situation when you either, coincidentally bump into your ex or know in advance that you'll have to see her at a social function. Part of you wants to see her just to subconsciously show her how well you're doing (aka "look at the prize you dumped!") and the other part of you wants to avoid her completely. Unfortunately, if you have mutual friends, the inevitability of seeing her again is likely. However, you can handle it the correct way and keep moving forward.

If you are forced to engage in conversation with her, remember to keep it brief. She doesn't deserve your time and hopefully, there are other surrounding friends to chat with other than her. Also, don't completely ignore her. It's childish and shows you're still affected by her. Don't be overly friendly either. All she deserves is a friendly wave from across the bar. Nothing more than that. Don't forget -- she isn't in your life anymore, so why would she need anything more than a wave?

Don't overcompensate. Don't try too hard to flirt with girls you see just for the sake of developing jealously. Most likely, she doesn't care anyway. If she shows up with a new guy, don't show any sign of emotion. She's in the past. Whoever she dates is none of your business. If she's already in the past, there's somewhere else better out there for you .......you probably hear that a lot but it's true.

Cheating: Can A Relationship Survive?

Many people deal with the problems of unfaithful partners. There is not much to say about it except that it's wrong. If you make an agreement with somebody (especially one involving real emotional attachment) keep it. Keep your pants on and be honest! If you aren't happy about your relationship, talk about it or leave. DO NOT LIE.

That being said, once a partner has cheated there are still a lot of issues to deal with. Just breaking up isn't always so easy. Sometimes people want to stay together even through hard times. Unfortunately for most people, once trust is lost it is not easily regained.

This loss of trust leads to suspicion, jealousy, arguments, and often the "break-up-make-up" routine. This happens because both people still want to be together even though one (or both) of them cannot get over the past. Getting over a betrayal is very difficult, especially if it comes from someone who you really care about. This is the time to ask yourself an important question. "Can I forgive them?" Put all the reasons, anger, and intricacies of the problem away and ask yourself that one simple question. If the answer is yes, then you have something to work with. However, if the answer is no, then it is time to part ways. What happens often is the answer turns out to be "I don't know." Take some time, and think it over. Just don't put it aside and pretend that there isn't a problem. Those feelings won't go away unless you acknowledge them. No relationship works without trust, and no relationship works with grudges.

A moral for all involved:

Before you break a promise, evaluate how important that relationship is to you. If it isn't important enough to keep, don't be in the relationship.

If you broke a promise and are now regretting it, make your intentions clear. It is going to take hard work and time to get that trust back.

If you're trust was broken, take some time to think it over. If you can find it in you to forgive that person, there may be hope to restore you relationship. If you can't, don't waste your time (or theirs) trifling over problems that you won't ever fix. It is time to move on and heal.

Relationship “Breaks”: Personal Space or a Graceful End?

Not too long ago, I wrote an article on the importance of having personal hobbies/interests in a relationship that you can do without your significant other. These are necessary so that one of you doesn’t begin to feel smothered or held back in any way. If it reaches that point, a relationship “break” is most likely going to cross one of your minds.

From my personal experience and stories I’ve read/heard, “breaks” rarely work out as just that. Whether it’s because one of you crossed a line while you two were apart, or one of you realized you are happier/ don’t miss the other, it usually brings more problems than solutions. Even if you do work things out and decide to try again, you will most likely feel like something is just… isn’t right. This is especially true if one of you spent some time with a new person on an intimate level. 

If you are the one initiating the break, make sure it’s what you really want and understand potential consequences before you have the talk. For most, hearing those words “let’s take a break,” could mean “let’s see other people” and potentially backfire on the little bit of space you may have wanted. Maybe just a few days away from them will make you feel different instead of going the extreme and possibly ruining the relationship. Regardless if you are initiating it or not, make sure rules are set as to what is OK and what isn’t so as to avoid making things more problematic. If rules don’t sound like something you want during this break then call it what it is, a break up. Don’t be misleading and give your once significant other false hope in getting back together, or leave them thinking that you are going to be taking personal time when you are planning on going on dates. The best thing you can do is be honest, no matter how difficult it may be.