Dating Etiquette 101: New Year's Eve (Special Edition)

Sure, we all have (bullshit) resolutions for 2012 and we say we're going to abide by them. But what are your objectives for the evening in question? What are you looking to accomplish this coming evening?

If you're attending a party and planning on mingling with females, you better bring your A-game. Now is not the time for slobbery, on attire and manors. Do you want to be the douche of the evening or the suave gentleman that wasn't overlooked for your shit-like behavior?

If there's ever a time to dress to impress, now is time to pull out your good threads. Don't worry, you don't have to wear a suit. A collared shirt, and a pair of slacks or form-fitting jeans, will do just fine. Nothing baggy or sloppy. You will feel as confident as whatever you're wearing, so put some fucking effort in! K? Good. (If you still don't understand, see here: Dating Etiquette 101: Effective First Date Attire).

Next is your attitude. Most likely, everyone will be drinking and letting loose on NYE. There's a way to be the life of the party without being a tool. Play it cool and progressively delve into party-mode. Don't unbutton your shirt to "mid-drift status" and walk around with a Champagne bottle in your hand, like you're a rapper from the year 2000. Keep it together, man. Show the best side of yourself. Be charming, humorous, and delightful without being obnoxious and over'compensatory.

Follow this simple advice and you may end up impressing some ladies that you didn't expect would even chat with you. Now is your time for fresh impressions and new beginnings in your dating life.

Dig that and pop some bubbly ....but keep your composure.

Top 5 Romantic Comedies for Modern Males

It's okay to love chick-flicks. We're here to give you our picks for, what we consider, the best ones around for guys (in touch with their sensitive side). Whether you're searching for a great date accompaniment or you prefer hiding this secret interest. Well then! Grab some tissues, pour some wine, and crack open the SunChips!:

#1 - 500 Days of Summer

A (not so) love story of a wise, emotional idealist male who falls for a confused, self-righteous female. It's a sincere roller coaster of heartache, from a true modern-male's view. It goes against everything Beyonce depicts men as, and shows women in a realistic light. Its sad and inspiring at the same time.

#2 - Going The Distance

Two lovers. trying to keep their relationship alive with 3,000 miles of distance in between. Its hysterical and tear-jerking. Believe it or not, I watched this film with 3 of my guy friends and we all shed tears at certain pivotal scenes. The chemistry between Justin Long and Drew Barrymore feels so real ....maybe because they dated in real life. It shows.

#3 - Definitely, Maybe

Quit hating on Ryan Reynolds. In this flick, he actually makes you feel bad for him. Telling his daughter the timeline of his love life, with lots of excitement and heartache in between. Plus, it doesn't hurt that all 3 main actresses, that are all objects of Reynolds' affection at some point, are all beautiful!

#4 - Vicky Cristina Barcelona

This may be the sexiest/wittiest movie ever made. 2 American women spend a summer in Spain. One is lost and promiscuous, 1 is uptight and engaged. Both fall romantically for a man I can only hope I emulate someday. Except Maria Lena makes the situation pretty crazy, which is also a great case study for mental illness. Weird ....but sexy.

#5  - You've Got Mail

Maybe its the chemistry. Maybe its the story. Maybe its the days of America Online. Whatever it is that makes this film so enjoyable, it succeeds, even after all these years. Quite possibly the most underrated romantic comedy out there. It also makes Manhattan look beautiful .....and ironically, makes me want to visit Barns & Noble right now!

Happy watching, laughing, crying, and spanking! :)

(Make-Out) Song Of The Week: "The Christmas Waltz" by She & Him

When you think of Christmas music, I'm sure you don't to yourself; "Boy, I can sure go some sweet, sweet sexin'". And as we all the know, the holidays can tend to bring about serious loneliness if you're not dating anyone. But for argument sake (and my chipper holiday spirit), let's say you're at a Christmas party and you happen to be sipping on that "adult eggnog" a little too much. You strike up a conversation with a female, you sneak a little peck under the mistletoe (yeah, I'm full of corniness), and you take her back to your place to show off how big your tree is (holy crap). You can't put on naughty music because you don't want to be a Christmas Creep (I like that one) but you want something sensual with a hint of romance. I recommend "The Christmas Waltz" by She & Him (aka M. Ward and Zooey Deschanel). It has a vintage, pine-fresh, cozy feel.

Play this song and enjoy soft, sugarplum kisses. Make sure to say her lips taste like candy canes! (no, don't say that). But do have a Merry Christmas! And always stuff that stocking....whatever that means.

Placeholders: The "In-Between" Girlfriends

If you don't know what a placeholder is, to put it simply, they're girls you're not that interested in having a romantic future with but they'll do for the time being. They're glorified seat warmers. They keep you from getting rusty in the dating game. They're typically not someone you're head-over-heels for. Usually lacking something (or many things). They're either decently attractive with a tolerable personality, or pretty hot with a dull personality. In other words, they don't completely fulfill you. But hey! You're lonely and she's willing, so what the hell, right?

It's important to make sure that you don't let a placeholder become too attached. Know your goal and stick to it. Are you doing it for the sex? Is she good arm-candy? Is she just someone cool to hang and talk with? Don't forget why she's a placeholder to you -- she's filling the void of your ex-girlfriend, until you meet someone that's worth your full romantic future (aka your next legit girlfriend)

The sticky part about dating placeholders is you can easily come off as a douche bag .....and let's be honest, you pretty much are. But that's why its necessary to never verbally express your interest in her .....because you're not. She's already giving you what you need. You don't love her, so never say it. Now isn't the time to express your feelings.

Now is the time to have fun and f*ck around a bit. Got it?!

Cheers.

The Art of "Hooking Up" at House Parties

Whichever your reason is for finding a little action, house parties & get-togethers seem to be a great spot for gettin' some. But why? Social engagements at someone's household presents a more-relaxed environment, free alcohol, comfortable seating, mutual friends (which means- easier introductions), and for god sakes -- it's a home, where most sexual activity takes place (i.e. in bedrooms)!

If you're not a typical Johnny Playboy, who can go up to females in loud, crowded bars/clubs, and strike up a conversation (aka screaming match) until you're able to get her number or creepily go home with her -- don't worry! House parties provide the same materials, except you're already inside a house (get it?).

Striking up a conversation with a female feels easier at a house party because you're (usually) surrounded by mutual friends. This means you have a better shot at striking up a conversation with someone because your friend is there to vouch for you. If you're not looking to get your socks rocked, at least you have a decent shot at getting a female's number.

Let's Get Physical:
If you are looking for some tonsil hockey (or more), doing so in someone's home seems quite easier. There are a few things to consider:

1) Alcohol consumption of you and your target female - This depends on how big of a douche you are).

2) The other guests - Make sure you don't come off as a creep. If you're feeling good vibes, let it happen. She's not your public Playdough).
3) Waiting it out - You may have to wait till toward the end of the party. You're not going to just pull her into an empty bedroom and go at it ....well, unless she's down for that.
4) Consider a car - If she's all over you and is figuratively spelling out that she "wants a piece", suggest to her how you have a new album of some artist she likes and go have a listen in your vehicle. Believe it or not, it works sometimes.

If these steps haven't made me seem like a total tool yet, I hope you learn how to spot douchy guy at the next party you go to. If anything, maybe you'll be her saviour and then you'll get some unexpected action.

(Make-Out) Song Of The Week - "Edge Of Desire" by John Mayer

Say what you will about John Mayer. You can't, however, deny the sexual aroma that "Edge Of Desire" has, only equivalent to spraying an entire FeBreze bottle all over your apartment ...seriously, I've tried. This song can quite possibly produce the best make-out session you've ever had. It's seductive and dirty all at the same time. It's also vulnerable yet assuring. It can have you fall in love with whoever you lock lips with, even if that female is nowhere close to your heart (and possibly closer to another organ (you whore!)).

Mayer's tunes are usually great for melancholy moods and lonely wine drinking (hey! who said I do that?), but if anyone knows how to get a girl's lips wet (....you're a creep for misinterpreting that), then this track should compliment the room nicely.

My Parents Are Cooler Than Me!

It's Friday night. My mom is getting dressed, getting ready for her date, while humming the Mike Posner song; "It's probably because you think you're cooler than me...". I'm in a t-shirt and boxer shorts, eating an Apple with a knife; carelessly carving off slices like Crocodile Dundee. Suddenly, it dawns on me .....my mom has a more enjoyable social life than I do. Holy crap.

It's not that I don't have the option to go out on a weekend evening. Maybe I'm jaded? When I play a potential night-out in my head, it proceeds as such: Go out with friends, have a few drinks, talk to tacky girls who are of no interest in me, get home late, and fall asleep to Craig Ferguson on my DVR. It's the feeling of an unsatisfactory chain of events. Ironically, whenever I'm in a relationship, anything we do always turns out to be so goddamn fulfilling! Even laying in bed, watching movie with a mate, is more entertaining than standing in a crowded bar while loud thumps of shitty pop music causing damage to my ear drums.

This leads me to conclude that all of my friends, who say they love going out and partying are either: 1) Lying, or 2) "Going through a phase" ...because anyone who says they love being single has either been put through the rinse-cycle too many times in the relationship department, or they've gotten so used to their way of life that loneliness and empty sex has become their norm.

My mom goes out because she spent far too many years under the oppression of my father. This makes me optimistic for my romantic future, because if she can truly live her life again, so can I. But this doesn't mean I'll find it sitting at a bar-stool.