My Parents Are Cooler Than Me!

It's Friday night. My mom is getting dressed, getting ready for her date, while humming the Mike Posner song; "It's probably because you think you're cooler than me...". I'm in a t-shirt and boxer shorts, eating an Apple with a knife; carelessly carving off slices like Crocodile Dundee. Suddenly, it dawns on me .....my mom has a more enjoyable social life than I do. Holy crap.

It's not that I don't have the option to go out on a weekend evening. Maybe I'm jaded? When I play a potential night-out in my head, it proceeds as such: Go out with friends, have a few drinks, talk to tacky girls who are of no interest in me, get home late, and fall asleep to Craig Ferguson on my DVR. It's the feeling of an unsatisfactory chain of events. Ironically, whenever I'm in a relationship, anything we do always turns out to be so goddamn fulfilling! Even laying in bed, watching movie with a mate, is more entertaining than standing in a crowded bar while loud thumps of shitty pop music causing damage to my ear drums.

This leads me to conclude that all of my friends, who say they love going out and partying are either: 1) Lying, or 2) "Going through a phase" ...because anyone who says they love being single has either been put through the rinse-cycle too many times in the relationship department, or they've gotten so used to their way of life that loneliness and empty sex has become their norm.

My mom goes out because she spent far too many years under the oppression of my father. This makes me optimistic for my romantic future, because if she can truly live her life again, so can I. But this doesn't mean I'll find it sitting at a bar-stool.

Are The Best Girls Already Taken?

I probably sound like a whiner but I feel like every lovely girl I meet is already taken. See, it's not like I don't meet great girls -- there are plenty! But unfortunately, some other chump has always beat me to the punch ...usually years before I ever meet her. I'd say about 70% of the 'already-taken' girls I meet, have been with their boyfriend for over a year or two. The others usually just started dating their mates within a few months' time. Then I give myself the same rant; "Son of a b*tch! They're always f*cking taken! If I had only met them sooner!"  The most annoying part is, this happens way too often. I can think of a few females, within the last week, whom I've met and found out they're already spoken for.

What's funnier is, the single girls I meet are always single for an obvious reason: outer appearance, emotionally distraught from previous relationships, daddy issues, alcohol problems, going through 'slutty period', or just an overall crappy personality.

Believe me, I'm not one of those guys who wants what he can't have. Rather, I feel like a guy who has sh*t luck. I try to tell myself; "She won't be with that guy forever. Eventually, they'll break up...", but I don't want to be a post-relationship 'rebound'. I also don't want to pick up the mess that her ex left her with. In other words, when a girl mentions her boyfriend, I block her out of my (potential-for-dating) mind.

I'm also realizing not to take certain opportunities for granted. If I meet a female who I have a crush on and she's also single, there's no time to pussyfoot around and "let romance unfold naturally" -- That's bullsh*t. I have to take action. No more of this laissez-faire attitude!

Easier said than done, I know.

We'll see......

Single Women at Weddings - Age Matters

Hooray! Wedding season is finally over for the year! Now I can hang my 1 makeshift suit back in the closet and remove the word "Open Bar" from my vernacular. I've come to the conclusion that the amount of single females depends on the age of the bride. The older the couple getting married (30s, 40s) -- the more locked-down couples there are -- which means the more lonely you feel. But if the couple is in their 20s, the more of a shot you have at meeting single girls.

In today's society, people barely get married in their 20s anymore. Out of the 6 weddings I was invited to this Fall, only 2 ceremonial couples were 20'something.The rest were in their 30s and 40s. Why is this? The trending story I continue to hear is; "I had A LOT of fun in my 20s but once I hit my 30s, I decided to cool down." .....Okay, I get it. Nobody wants to be tied down, especially in their wild youth. But are we having too much fun? Perhaps, are we creating too much baggage? Or is it healthier to wait awhile before we settle down?

This may sound grim but I'm curious to see which (out of the 6) couples will file for divorce. Considering the national statistics, it's bound to happen, right? This past weekend, my great aunt said something funny; "Everyone should get married twice. The first one is a practice run." It makes me wonder if, at a certain age, we want to be married and reproduce so badly, more than we want to find "that special someone". Some of you may have met that person in your 20s but you let them slip away because you weren't ready to settle down. Others needed time to date the  'wrong ones'.

I'll admit this -- out of all of these wedding ceremonies I've witnessed, I did get emotional at a couple of them. Going through all of this trouble to get married must mean something -- preparation, planning, financing, inviting guests, and months of anticipation. Why do we do it? Some do it for ego and display ....but I think most do it for love......real, genuine love....

and that's sweet....

Changing Your "Relationship Status" on Facebook: Pressure or Petty Narcissism?

When entering a new relationship, it seems like you're not "official" until you announce it on Facebook so everyone can virtually congratulate you. Getting dumped? When your fresh Ex decides to announce her singlehood, everyone gets to know about it! Not only do they find out, but they get to "LIKE" and comment on it. Talk about fun.....

Has Facebook become a gossip column for nobodies or a crucial step in relationship survival/dismissal? If you don't announce your new romance on your profile, some may consider your love illegitimate. Even your significant other could take offense to the fact you're not broadcasting your love all over the web. Does this add more pressure? Does this sound like petty narcissism? Does it have the potential to f*ck things up? Yes, yes, and yes.

How about getting dumped? After my last long-term relationship, it didn't truly hit me until she changed her status to "Single" the very next day. It was shocking to see how some of her friends were leaving comments of happiness and also seeing other guys waiting to pounce on her like fresh meat in the market. Of course, then I get the pleasure of receiving phone calls and text messages from friends, asking if "I'm okay", when I wasn't ready to tell anyone.

Even engagements are announced on Facebook and measuring your news is determined on how many of your friends "LIKE" it. Why are we letting Facebook become our reality? It used to be an escape from reality .....now reality just seems fake.

The Single Scene: Are Weddings Really a Good Place to Meet Women?

I've been invited to 5 weddings this Fall ...Yeah, that isn't a joke. Every wedding has their own uniqueness. But one inevitable theme, that cannot be oppressed, is the fact that you're in attendance to observe a deceleration of love.

Normally, most people consider this concept a beautiful, festiveness ritual. For me, I had recently gone through a messy break-up, so I was in no mood join in wholeheartedly. However, my perspective needed to change. I had to dig deep and make myself re-understand why weddings can be so much fun. Oh yeah! It's a fantastic forum to meet women! That's what everyone says, at least.

(Wedding Crashers, New Line Cinema)

Currently, I'm 3 weddings down, 2 to go ...and I'm realizing that the ratio of couples-to-single women are completely lopsided. Life isn't like Wedding Crashers and I am no Owen Wilson or Vince Vaughn. There are upsides to weddings though: free drinks, free food, meeting new people from various geographical locations, and you get to dress swanky (if you're into that ...and I am). If you have a few drinks, exchange a few laughs with friendly strangers, and dance the Electric Slide, it's not such a bad experience.

And sometimes, like any "blue moon" social outing, you'll meet a lovely, single female who might be worth the entire tour de wedding season ....or it could just be her sexy dress and the alcohol, inside of your tummy, talking.

I guess I'll let you know after these last 2 weddings.....