If you are like me, then going out to a bar with some friends is usually a good time for you. However, going out to a bar in the hopes of finding romance just doesn't seem to work. Through about 10 minutes of heavy introspection, I have come up with a list of why I can't seem to find interest in any women I've met at bars. I will post it in case any of you out there relate:1. I am not attracted to drunkenness. Stumbling women who can't speak coherently just don't do it for me. I like good conversation, and I like to be remembered the next day.
2. That "Girls Night Out" look (You know the one with a tight black dress, sparkles, high heels, a ton of make-up, and more hairspray than you'd like to think) does not appeal to me. I understand that you are trying to sell yourself a little. After all, you can't meet someone new if they don't notice you. Yet, something always tells me that the ones who try that hard have more to show than they do to say. Maybe it's a little judgmental of me, or maybe it's just my instinct that if someone is trying that hard to lure me in, they must have alterior motives.
3. I like good conversations. Some bars are good for this. Mostly, those bars are full of middle aged divorcees and burnt out alcoholics. Otherwise, they tend not to be full at all. The bars filled with young single crowds always seem to blast with music. I like to talk a lot more than I like to dance. So, naturally, this is a poor environment to find someone that interests me. Well, three reasons are all I'm going to pull out right now. So, let's get on with some analysis!
Back when you were in high school, meeting new people was easy. You were around hundreds of people all day and, with loads of free time, meeting friends of friends or going to local hangout spots was more a lifestyle than a choice.
College is a little tougher. With a lot more schoolwork, and most likely a job, there is less time to go out and meet new people. Also, all of your friends stopped hanging out on the street corners and local parks, opting for more secure spots like bars, clubs, homes, apartments, etc. If you are attending a mainly commuter school, meeting new people becomes even more difficult.
Out in the working world, you have less of a pool to choose from. The need to remain professional with coworkers rules out many people you meet through work. More and more time is consumed by your career, and your friends only go out on certain days and mostly out to bars (which we discussed briefly above) or restaurants (which aren't a great meeting place for singles).
For everyone out there, in college, at work, or both, I have advice. Don't be shy. If you are at the supermarket, cafe, bookstore, library, or just about anywhere and you see somebody interesting, just say "Hello." Well, also say something interesting. You don't want to seem creepy. If you can't think of anything to say, look around. There has to be something that affects both of you that you have an opinion on. After all, you are in the same place! If you need a more social setting to feel comfortable, there are still options. If you go to college (even a commuter college) there is bound to be some sort of recreation room. You can also join clubs. These are great places to meet new people who you already have something in common with.
If you are out in the working world, believe it or not, there are places adults go for recreation that don't involve intoxication. Check out local parks, coffee shops, hobby shops, etc.
Now there are two important rules and they are not easy.
2. Don't go in with any expectations. Go out to have fun. If you are scouting for a hot lady, she will probably catch on to your motives.
3. When you talk to someone new, say something interesting, spark a conversation, and DON'T just use some corny pick-up line.
4. Be you, be real and don't lose your patience. Meeting someone special can take a long time. Remember, you are important and unique, so finding a compatible partner probably isn't as easy as you would like it to be.
3. When you talk to someone new, say something interesting, spark a conversation, and DON'T just use some corny pick-up line.
4. Be you, be real and don't lose your patience. Meeting someone special can take a long time. Remember, you are important and unique, so finding a compatible partner probably isn't as easy as you would like it to be.
Okay, so that was more than two...
