Microbreweries: The Next Great Date Spot?

Beer is no longer the desired piss-colored/flavored moonshine of shlubby men ....well, it still is, but if you haven't taken notice to the new wave of independent microbreweries sweeping the nation, then you must be a lonely bachelor who drinks 2fers at Applebees (no hatin'). Beer has developed a new sense of sophistication through these microbreweries and as a result, appeals to people of all varieties.

Finding a good place to have wine and a conversation has become pricey and rare. For us working class stiffs, we want to take a lady somewhere that says; "I'm cultured enough to not suggest a corporate establishment and possibly introduce you somewhere new ....because hey, I'm new to you and this is my subtle way of making a good impression."

Microbreweries are viewed with high regard for their creative beers, festive atmosphere, and individualistic charm. By taking your date to one, the same appeal may easily rub off on her perception of you. You're creative, festive, and an individual, right?!

A popular drink this time of year is the Pumpkin Spice Ale, with a cinnamon coated rim. Gents and dames alike find it satisfying, as it's not the kind of drink that suggests intoxication will ensue but rather: great taste + warm setting + nice conversation = a successful date.

Just like trying a new glass of Merlot, trying out a new craft beer may also result in a fun, adventurous experience .....just like your overall date has the potential to do.

Are you understanding the correlation I'm trying to make? Good. Then you've learned something.

Cheers!

Jealousy: The Delicate Balance

Whether you’re just starting a new relationship or you are several months in and taking things serious, odds are your lover has some friends of the opposite sex. We’ve all read, heard, or personally experienced these situations and whether jealousy is justified about these friends. It’s important to voice these concerns with your lover and understand their relationship with them. These could be friends they’ve had for several years and never had any deeper feelings for them, while you are becoming increasingly concerned and jealous when they hang out together.

While communication is necessary for you to understand their friendship and not to worry, it is also crucial to remember the conversation the next time they meet up and not bombard them with questions when they get home. Lack of trust becomes extremely irritating and can cost you the relationship. Its ok to be jealous at times, it shows you care for the person and are protective of them, but only in small doses is it cute and, to be blunt, acceptable.

Does this concern stem from a past relationship you had? Tough. Remember that everyone is different and whatever was done to you by your last boyfriend or girlfriend has no bearing in this new relationship. Just because he or she may have betrayed your trust, does not mean your new mate will do the same. They are different people with different opinions, which after an experience like that you need, right? Just remember, jealousy can be nice to show you care, but too much will cripple the relationship causing you to lose that thing you were so desperately trying to protect.

Long-Term Relationships: How To Survive

Relationships can be great. They can be interesting, exciting, full of new experiences, and the realizations of new points of view. They can also be painful, irritating, stressful, and terribly boring. Realistically, a relationship will at some point incite all, or most, of these feelings. The question remains. Why can something that excites a person at one stage in a relationship irritate them in another?

Let's first look at the budding relationship. Getting to know somebody romantically for the first time can be very exciting. Your brain is active and curious. It is almost like being a child again, when everything in the world seemed new and interesting. Even things that you didn't have respect for previously seem to make more sense when they come from the mind of somebody you admire. You may want to hear what they have to say because you are interested, and you don't know what to expect from them. However, during this time, people gain a lot of expectations of each other.

After a while, like any parent, supervisor, or teacher; we want consistency. At the same time, our partners may want change. When our expectations are proven false, it is easy to become irritated, and penalize someone who we care about. Remember that you're relationship is not your job and, more importantly, there is no boss.

The same problem can occur from the other end. If you're looking for change and excitement, and you're partner likes to do the same thing every Friday night, you may find yourself very unhappy. Again, remember that you are not the boss. If you want to do something different this weekend, let your partner know in advance so you can discuss it. Don't just spring it up at the last minute. Compromising is the best way to get around this problem. I am sure that anybody reading this knows that if one person in the relationship isn't happy in a certain surrounding, neither of them are.

Just to recap: the most exciting part of a relationship is usually the beginning. One reason for this is because the two involved are learning about each other and they don't know what to EXPECT. So, if you're looking for that extra excitement in you're relationship, you don't need to stretch too far. If you are having trouble relating to you're partner's new interests, you might not have to try so hard. Maybe, all you need is to lessen your expectations. I say "lessen" and not "lower" because you should never have low expectations of someone you love. Have less of them. Leave the past behind and treat every moment like a new one.

There is a Japanese saying: "Ichi go ichi e" Literally, it translates to "One opportunity, one encounter." It is used to remind people that every situation is a unique one, with a unique solution, or that every moment only happens once in a lifetime.

The cheesy moral of this post: If you love your partner, love them all the time. Love them today the same way you loved them when you first met, with wonder and respect. Respect your differences, and respect their habits.

Dating Etiquette 101: Manage Your Drinking

If you’ve managed to maintain a good conversation and have also managed your alcohol intake, you’re in good standing for another evening out with this enjoyable female. However, the biggest mistake you can make is having one too many Vodka Tonics. An even bigger mistake you can make is feeding your date too many glasses of wine …..or Vodka Tonics. Why the hell are you even drinking Vodka Tonics on your first date anyway?

If this female is someone you’re interested in furthering a near future with, it might be wise to ease up on pouring booze down your gullet, as well as your date’s. We all know social drinking helps shed some of the nervousness and awkwardness of a first date. It loosens the mood to make room for easier flowing conversation. Yet, “moderation” is your key word to success if you don’t want to transform into a sloppy, rambling fool. Too many drinks and you could potentially accentuate tiny flaws you may have not wanted to present so early on ….or you’re telling your date that you’re a problem drinker. Either one works.

It’s also important NOT to supply your date with too many drinks. Men tend to handle their alcohol better than women. There's physical proof. If you don’t believe this, then you’re one of those guys who enjoy getting their dates drunk in order to sleep with them ASAP. This would classify you as a D-bag. If your date enjoys drinking a little too much, she’s either nervous or she-herself could be a problem drinker …..in which case, you really know how to pick ‘em!

Tips:
 

1. Keep the drinking light. Know your limit. Analyze her limit. Don’t encourage her to drink more if she isn’t showing a desire to do so.
2.  Keep the conversation moving. Ask questions and be genuinely interested in what she’s saying. If she is someone you possibly see a future with, then conversation should flow naturally.

      3. If you’re not feeling it, definitely do not drink more in order to enjoy her company. You’re doing your date a disservice and you’re prolonging an early exit, if you’re too tipsy to drive.

Common Interests: Could it Cause Problems in Your Relationship?

While it’s important to try and share some of your lover’s interests, there is such a thing as too much in common. The work week can get pretty stressful, and we all need time to wind down, doing something we enjoy. Being able to watch a movie you both enjoy, playing tennis, or going dancing together are great ways to level yourself out again for the next week. However, everyone can use some space every so often that is just for themselves. 

Maybe she wants to have a girl’s night, or you want to play poker with the guys. It doesn’t mean they don’t want to spend time with you, and it shouldn’t mean the end of the world. It’s actually a perfect time for you to focus on yourself as well.

I was in a relationship that didn’t allow me to have these moments to myself and yes, it became frustrating. I couldn’t go help my friend build his computer or go to a job interview without her wanting to be right there with me. It ultimately led to the end of the relationship because it meant an argument, when she couldn’t go, as well as her becoming too dependent on me to be happy. No one likes that feeling.

Having time away from your mate is perfectly healthy and doesn’t mean you two are beginning to have problems. Don’t let that stop you from trying to enjoy some interests you have in common, but be sure to have something you do for yourself. Trust me, it could save a relationship.

The Single Scene: Are Weddings Really a Good Place to Meet Women?

I've been invited to 5 weddings this Fall ...Yeah, that isn't a joke. Every wedding has their own uniqueness. But one inevitable theme, that cannot be oppressed, is the fact that you're in attendance to observe a deceleration of love.

Normally, most people consider this concept a beautiful, festiveness ritual. For me, I had recently gone through a messy break-up, so I was in no mood join in wholeheartedly. However, my perspective needed to change. I had to dig deep and make myself re-understand why weddings can be so much fun. Oh yeah! It's a fantastic forum to meet women! That's what everyone says, at least.

(Wedding Crashers, New Line Cinema)

Currently, I'm 3 weddings down, 2 to go ...and I'm realizing that the ratio of couples-to-single women are completely lopsided. Life isn't like Wedding Crashers and I am no Owen Wilson or Vince Vaughn. There are upsides to weddings though: free drinks, free food, meeting new people from various geographical locations, and you get to dress swanky (if you're into that ...and I am). If you have a few drinks, exchange a few laughs with friendly strangers, and dance the Electric Slide, it's not such a bad experience.

And sometimes, like any "blue moon" social outing, you'll meet a lovely, single female who might be worth the entire tour de wedding season ....or it could just be her sexy dress and the alcohol, inside of your tummy, talking.

I guess I'll let you know after these last 2 weddings.....

Interview - Jazz Singer, JB Baretsky Talks Music + Dating

We caught up with the talented and well-dressed JB Baretsky to ask him some questions about romance, old Hollywood, and his upcoming debut single; "One Nighter" which is more of an emotional track than it is about his physical endeavors .....and he's only 24. WTH?!

TMMP: What's your favorite place to take a date to?
JB: The best answer is where I don't take them on dates, like anywhere that involves competition. So bowling, pool, and mini golf are all out 'cause I'd get way too concentrated on beating my date. I also avoid loud places where conversations are impossible. Especially if it's early on in a dating experience. I want to be able to get to know her.

TMMP: What's your drink of choice on a date?
JB: My drink of choice on a date doesn't waiver from my drink of choice period. Jack Daniels. On the rocks. Cheers.

TMMP: Do you walk a lady to her door at the end of the night?
JB: That depends on the girl..Recently that's been seen as kind of corny and uncool. But you need to feel her out (not literally). It's all about reading your date.

TMMP: How many dates are appropriate to get invited inside?
JB: Well, I mean from a guy's point-of-view, it doesn't matter because we're going to accept that invite regardless. But I'd probably say 3 to stay on the classy side.

TMMP: You're old soul. Who's your favorite Hollywood romancer?
JB: Humphrey Bogart - tough and rugged. And I mean, if that guy could get Lauren Bacall, there's hope for the rest of us.

TMMP: If you could be any actor in Hollywood history, who would you be?
JB: Any one of them who lived past the age of 70. So thats basically Paul Newman or Jimmy Stewart.

TMMP: What's your favorite song to make-out to?
JB: Nothing says romance like swapping spit to the soothing melody of The Safety Dance. No... Ummm actually, anything with a theme of love or loving or making love is good. But I think that music is very important to making out. I was watching a movie with Brad Pitt (he was starring in it, not watching it with me) and he looked fine and dandy and all. Then he got the girl on a couch, the music snuck in, and everything he said was just magnified a thousand times over. So I mean if Brad Pitt needs music, us regular guys must be desperate for some.

TMMP: What is your single; "One Nighter" about exactly?
JB: It's about two people who just want the same thing. They find each other, get what they want, and go their separate ways. It's a song of healing and being healed. Ok, maybe not healed but ya kno at least getting some peroxide on the wound.

TMMP: Would you consider yourself a player or a hopeless romantic?
JB: Hopeless romantic. At the end of the day, no one wants to end up alone. And I'm hoping to find someone, someday.

TMMP: Has your music career changed the way women look at you?
JB. I wasn't a head turner to begin with, and now that I have a career ...I'm still not.

*JB Baretsky's debut single; "One Nighter" will be available for streaming next week. Check him out here:

- JB's Facebook Page
- JB's YouTube Channel

Jennifer Lopez Uses The Bronx to Sell Products

When I think of celebrities that I'd love to exile from this earth, nobody irks me more than Jennifer Lopez. What bothers me most is how she misrepresents herself as this underprivileged minority from the Bronx and now, she's achieved goddess-like status....but she never forgot where she came from! Give me a break!

(Lopez in a new 2011 Fiat commercial)

My intense disdain for Ms. Lopez began when I heard her 2002 single; "Jenny From The Block", which is a display of complete insincerity and self-righteousness. When she sings; "Used to have a little / Now I have a lot", it makes me cringe at her elitist hypocrisy. How can she honestly say she's the same person, from the same neighborhood? She abandoned her "home", moved to LA, eventually became famous, and now lives in Glen Cove, Long Island. And yet, so much of her music and "story" is about how poor she used to be but ended "making it". What kind of message is she sending? Who is she inspiring? ....Let's not forget she also sells her body to sell records.

I'm only writing this because, for some reason, she's revived her career lately ...and my headache came back. She's in a new commercial, promoting Fiat, that may give me an ulcer if I see it one more time. The commercial speaks for itself. She's capitalizing on her past in order to sell crap that people from her old neighborhood could never afford anyway! She's the biggest product pusher I've ever seen and she exploits a low-income area, full of hardships, in order to sell her "rags to riches" story angle. It's disgusting.

It reminds me of when Ronald Reagan visited the South Bronx in the 80s and did absolutely nothing thereafter. But hey, it's okay because J. Lo is full of wealth, in which she retains most of it. It's sad that somebody so fake had to make a song called; "I'm Real".  If you love the Bronx so much, go live there! That makes sense, right?

Trick or Tease: Why Do Females Choose Diaphanous Costumes on Halloween?

Excited for upcoming All Hallows' Eve festivities? Have you invested a great deal of thought and time into your costume? Perverted, hilarious, or obscene; you're entering that party to achieve notable attention....even if you look dumb. What about the ladies? It seems like all they have to do is dress in skimpy outfits and ta-da!

They can be anything they want, as long as the word "Sexy' sits in front of their description: Cop, Nurse, Schoolgirl, Vampire, or Disney character. As long as they wear short-shorts and a push-up bra, males applaud their valiant efforts to respect the holiday's purpose.

But why do females need to be sexy on a day that asks to disguise oneself from their everyday appearance? Could it be insecuities? Not only do they crave the complimentory attention at a party but a photo album's worth of memories on Facebook will let everyone know their creative spirit. Oh, lovely!

The ugly truth can quite possibly be that females are more judgemental than males. Remember the scene in Mean Girls, where Lohan dresses ghoulish and the others clothed scandalously? Lohan's character, not being fully Westernized, followed the plausible theme of Halloween. She was, in return, shunned and laughed at for it. I find that to be true in real life. I think females dress sexy in order to one-up and impress other females with their sexiness. And of course, attention from males only helps their case and makes other females jealous.

Maybe it's not about us, guys. Maybe it's a need females have to always feel pretty. Males are largely to blame - don't get us wrong. But females are quite nasty and brutal to each other. It's simply easier to blame males, though.

Dating Etiquette 101: Effective First Date Attire

So, you've somewhat successfully met someone you're fond of ....Well, fond of enough to get more acquainted on a one-on-one basis. Many thoughts race through your mind in anticipation: "Will we connect?", "Will I be attracted to her under any light fixture?", "What should I wear?". Yes, believe it or not, what you wear can say a lot in your first impression.

Think of it as a job interview. You're accentuating the best parts of yourself in order to secure long-term employment in a new relationship. Don't therapists always say; "A relationship is something you need to work at!". What you wear tells your date a lot about how you carry yourself and quite possibly your exceptions.

If you're sitting down to dinner or just grabbing a beverage (hot or cold), you should ensure present-ability. Think about it... She's putting the effort in to make herself look good for you, right? What do you suppose she'll think if you show up in a pair of sneakers, shorts, and a t-shirt?

You can never go wrong with any sort of collared shirt (buttoned or Polo). A pair of slacks and a nice pair of shoes shows a touch of effort. The most important component to remember is to have your clothes form-fitting. Baggy = Sloppy. Also, it wouldn't hurt to pull out an iron once in a while. Attention to detail matters, whether you're aware of it yourself or not.

Believe me, this is nothing compared to the efforts women put into their presentation, just to receive a small compliment from you.

....and trust me me, compliments go a long way.

Welcome!

Hello and welcome to The Modern Male Perspective. Here, you'll experience stories, opinions, advice, and random thoughts on relationships, love, and much more. If you choose ESPN over your girlfriend, beer over wine, and make-up love-making over just talking about it .....then this zine is NOT for you. However, everyone is welcome to read, discuss, and debate.

Thanks,
TMMP