At some point or another, all women are guilty of this; creating a "fantasy relationship" out of thin air. This may happen when you’re crushing on that cute guy at work, flirting with the smart guy in your sociology class, or while you’re seeing someone who is clearly not looking for anything serious.
Let’s face it -- we start by spending time with them even though we know they’re not the relationship type. We tell ourselves; “It’s okay if he doesn’t want anything serious. I just want to have a good time. He’s so cute!” We settle for a guy who just wants to mess around, instead of moving on and waiting for the guy who will treat us right. Why do we do this? Because we think we will ultimately change his mind and make him change his rules?
Men don’t change their minds or their rules. When they have made up their mind about something, you better believe they will stick to it. If he’s already pegged you as the “just for fun” type of girl, he won’t see you as anything different. We believe that our good nature, sweet smile, and fun-to-be-around personality will change their minds about a relationship. But the only person that can change his mind is himself.
By letting ourselves get carried away and putting our energy into a guy who is not planning on sticking around, we are selling ourselves short. We deserve a guy who is willing to put in the time and effort that we put in everyday. Stop yourself from trying to "read between the lines". Pay attention to his actions and what he’s really saying. Here are some signs that the guy, you’re seeing, does not want a relationship and it’s time to move on:
1. He tells you he’s "really busy right now" and doesn’t have time for anything serious.2. He makes excuses for why he hasn’t texted you, called you, or communicated with you at all that day.
3. He usually doesn’t invite you on outings with his friends or family.
4. He is unwilling to show any signs of affection in public. (Some guys are not into PDA, but if he won’t even hold your hand when you're out ...come on!)
5. He wants to stay inside a lot and “cuddle” (aka not cuddling).
6. He has money but seems unwilling to pay for anything; including a dinner, movie ticket, or coffee (Doesn’t have to be much, even a simple coffee will suffice.)Don’t ignore the signs, and don’t think that because he suddenly did something semi-romantic, such as took you out for dinner, that he has changed his mind about a relationship. Unless he takes action and actually asks you to be exclusive, don’t let yourself get carried away. It’s OK to casually date as long as you know that’s all it is.
If you want something more, don’t settle for less because you deserve to be happy. I recently read a book titled, “Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl” by Sherry Argov. If you always seem to choose the wrong guy, give way too much of yourself (while receiving nothing in return), or just need some woman-empowerment, then I suggest you pick up this book.
