(Make-Out) Song Of The Week - "The Best I Ever Had" by The Swellers

Who said you can't make-out to punk? Nobody, that's who! When you play this track during your sesh, you definitely won't forget the broad that you hooked-up with ....even if she wasn't the best you ever had. However, The Swellers will take you on a thrill ride of lip-locking. It might even bring you from the couch to the bed. Just don't start thinking about old flames and become melancholy. Treat this chick like she will be the best, even though she might not be. Man, I sound like such a sleazy dick.

If this song isn't for you, grow a pair of balls and play some pussy R&B ....or wait for next week's song. Whatever you do, don't get emotional, unless you want to.

Resurrecting Old Relationships: Why Bother?

You miss her. We understand. But why do you want her back? Because you feel lonely? Horny? Incomplete? Unfinished? Maybe you should put your phone down and back away slowly. In order to be fully aware why you aren't currently together, you must backtrack as to why the relationship was unsuccessful to begin with.

There's always a reason as to why serious relationships may end. Its easy to romanticize the time you had together and make yourself believe she was the best you ever had. But when you dig deep and reflect, there are always signs as to why it ended -- arguing, lying, cheating, disagreements, growing apart, and many times just not compatible, but that's tough to admit. But if you try to revive a dead relationships, the cause of death may still be cancerous no matter how hard you tell yourself that it will be different.

The only way I see an old relationship can ever truly live again is with lots and lots of time for personal growth and evolution. The two people you were did not work. Just accept it. But down the line,  if you two have grown significantly on your own and happen to reunite, a new romantic future might stand a chance. To be honest, you'll never get your old relationship back but it can possibly see life in a new body. However, as you evolve by yourself, you might find that you've outgrown her and will no longer want her back.

Either way, don't make any hasty decisions. Utilize your guy friends. They help tremendously. Also, see Placeholders: The "In-Between" Girlfriends -- it might help)

(Make-Out) Song Of The Week - "Edge Of Desire" by John Mayer

Say what you will about John Mayer. You can't, however, deny the sexual aroma that "Edge Of Desire" has, only equivalent to spraying an entire FeBreze bottle all over your apartment ...seriously, I've tried. This song can quite possibly produce the best make-out session you've ever had. It's seductive and dirty all at the same time. It's also vulnerable yet assuring. It can have you fall in love with whoever you lock lips with, even if that female is nowhere close to your heart (and possibly closer to another organ (you whore!)).

Mayer's tunes are usually great for melancholy moods and lonely wine drinking (hey! who said I do that?), but if anyone knows how to get a girl's lips wet (....you're a creep for misinterpreting that), then this track should compliment the room nicely.

Age Discrimination Doesn't Exist When it Comes to Partying

So, my friend asked me try out a new bar after work last night and I figured it couldn't be too bad. Well, hot damn! I was very wrong! See, it wasn't the atmosphere of the place that distorted my vision. It was the demographic of bar-goers. I've never seen so many creepy, horny, promiscuous middle-aged adults in one setting. All of which seemed to have been making desperate attempts to hold onto their youth.

It was a minefield of men, dressed in flashy suits and fashionable H&M'esc attire, thinking they're the hottest shit since Mad Men. However, in New York, the suit can't buy you class. They still had extreme 'New Yawwwwk' accents, acted in low-class manors, groped female drink servers, and looked like statutory rapists. As for the women, it was disturbing to see caked-on make-up and tight dresses on the deteriorating bodies that only comes with years of gravity. Who approved this?

All of them acting like drunken teenagers, as the same shitty top 40 radio tunes pound the back of one's head like an excessive twitch. Everyone in the bar, fondling each other and acting like they were still in high school ....except the drinks are wildly expensive and the concept of "sophistication" appears very warped. Are they looking for casual hook-ups? Are they cheating on their partners? Are they divorcees and emotional wrecks, trying to regain freedom?

Listen,  I'm not hating on anyone looking to get their kicks off. But it makes me worry. Are these adults in their 2nd childhood or has immature behavior never left their mind frame? What happened to the days of a quiet cocktail lounge? Or am I living in an unrealistic fantasy world? Young or old -- nightlife has become a perfect mess of rowdy, trashy, and pathetic endeavors of people who just want to let loose and party. This leads me to ask- does anyone grow up anymore? Or are there no more boundaries between ages? Are we all just smearing generations together like the shitty people we've become?

Dating Etiquette 101: Courtesy Counts!

While living in a modern, self-centered, narcissistic world, we sometimes forget the manors our parents taught us when we were tots .....or if you're part of the growing trend of being raised by crappy, neglectful parents, then you have no manors and you're the spawn of low class assh*les.

But hey, don't worry! That's why we're here to teach you little courteous gestures that can go a long way with a woman. Follow these simple steps:

Let her suggest the activity.
Forget what those macho, chauvinistic men say. When making plans to go on a date, ask her what she'd like to do and where she'd like to do. It's completely fine to add your input but do it together. This isn't a dictatorship. Ask what she'd like to do first and build upon her idea. She shouldn't need to be at your pleasurable mercy.

Greet her at her door.
There's no need to honk your obnoxious horn from the street. Taking those few measly steps to ring her doorbell will show her you put that tiny extra bit of effort to make her special.

Open the car door for her.
It's okay to be a little old fashion. You're taking her out on a date. She isn't your buddy that you go bar-hopping with. If you already greeted her at her door, this should be a fairly easy step since you're both walking to the same vehicle!

Open the door for her when you enter the date-activity.
Whether it be a restaurant, bar, movie theater, or blood donation center; if you don't open the door for your date, you should probably take her back home and apologize for wasting her time.

Pull out her chair before she sits.
Again, an oldie but a goodie. She really won't expect this one (isn't that sad?) but I bet she'll be quite impressed by your gentleman-like nature.


Offer to pay but DO NOT insist.
Today's modern woman varies. Some like traditionalism. Others are widely offended by the antique notion. There's no reason you can't offer to pay ....you should, especially if you asked her out. However, if she seems firm about splitting the bill (or paying) then don't put up a fight. This can be tricky because you may think she's trying to call your bluff. And sometimes, she is. But feel it out. Feel her out. That's why you're sitting down to dinner and/or drinks ....to get more acquainted with who she is. Movies take less time but this might be a good opportunity to order your tickets online. It's thoughtful and there's no room for debate.

Don't make it a one-time thing!
Follow these simple steps of simple detail and you will easily raise your chances of getting another date. Just don't forget -- make courtesy a habit! You have to keep the kindness going, even after you get into a relationship. Integrate courteousness into your attributes. Not just for a woman, but in society. They go a long way....and maybe your potential, future relationship will too.

Online Flirting While in a Relationship

I apologize in advance if I’m too direct in this article but I have a very firm opinion on this subject. Regardless if the flirting is done online or in person, it is wrong. It may seem harmless because there is a computer distancing you from this other person, but the fact remains that you are dedicating time and to a degree fantasizing about this other person. Flirting does not have to be done in person for it to inspire arousal and doing it online can certainly lead to more involved situations as well. Consider how you would feel if your significant other was to do the same, does it bother you? Odds are it certainly will. If it doesn’t, then you might want to re evaluate your relationship because there might be a serious issue. 

If your partner engaged in some online flirting, you need to talk about it and express all of your concerns and feelings about it. Don’t just keep it bottled up because it will only create more problems down the road. It’s similar to getting a pebble stuck in your shoe. It may not bother you right away, but it won’t go away and when combined with others it causes a bigger problem.

Online flirting has increased significantly over the years as a reason for divorce. To me, and I’m sure I’m not alone when I say this, there is no difference whether it’s online or not. It is wrong, and has the potential to seriously hurt. To you it may just be a little harmless fun, but your “significant” other will feel betrayed and the person you are flirting with will also feel deceived. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.

Interview - Chef, Tony Kang Discusses Dating Delicacies

Chef, Tony Kang has worked in some of New York's toughest kitchens. His wise-ass, humorous, and abrasive personality plays into his charm, which you will soon see in 2012 as he will be featured on a "major cooking competition show" on a "major TV network" (as you can tell, we can't announce it yet). We asked Tony to put the knife down for a few minutes to answer some questions how essential food is to a date. Check them out:

TMMP: What's your favorite meal to cook for a woman?
Tony: I'm a spontaneous cook, so I like to cook whatever hints I get from the ladies.  If I played my cards right, I would also have to cook breakfast (wink, wink).

TMMP: What's your "go to" 1st date restaurant?
Tony: Absolute must, not just for me, but for all guys looking to impress a girl you'll really like Gotham Bar and Grill in Greenwich Village.

TMMP: Why do women love a man who can cook?
Tony: They get to see us do something that's primal, raw, and a skill that takes passion.  They can tell how passionate a man can be by the way he works with food and the ingredients.

TMMP: If you could cook for any celebrity female, in hopes of "wooing" her, who would it be and what would you cook?
Tony: I love Mila Kunis.  I have a soft spot for her exotic beauty and her down-to-earth humor.  I would make her something filling and luscious so she'd get into the lazy "let's sit on the couch and bum around" mood. That dish would be Braised Shortribs, Morel Mushrooms, Polenta and Butter Poached Lobster Tail.

TMMP: If you could eat food off of your date's body, which delicacy would you cover your date's body in?
Tony: Oysters and Uni. That's sexy as hell.

(Photo Credit: Charles Eames)

TMMP: What's the best meal for post-love-making?
Tony: A typical d-bag would say; "A sandwich." But being a modern gentleman I can't be selfish. I would make the both of us a simple dish of Spaghettini with chili, garlic and basil. Refuel with carbs!

TMMP: Are you a good cocktail maker too?
Tony: I dabble but it's not my greatest strength.

TMMP: What's your favorite drink to make for a lady?
Tony: Champagne with Grape Consomme and Strawberry Air. It's a mix of the old school classy and modern gastronomy.

TMMP: If a woman was cooking for you, what would she need to do in order to impress you?
Tony: Nothing. I would be impressed that she's actually cooking for me and I would appreciate the meal.

TMMP: Hottest celebrity chef. Go!...
Tony: Nigella Lawson...Talk about a classy lady.

Write down those tips guys and learn from a master chef.
Thanks Tony!

The Bar Scene: Not For You? There's Still Hope

If you are like me, then going out to a bar with some friends is usually a good time for you. However, going out to a bar in the hopes of finding romance just doesn't seem to work. Through about 10 minutes of heavy introspection, I have come up with a list of why I can't seem to find interest in any women I've met at bars. I will post it in case any of you out there relate:

1. I am not attracted to drunkenness. Stumbling women who can't speak coherently just don't do it for me. I like good conversation, and I like to be remembered the next day.

2. That "Girls Night Out" look (You know the one with a tight black dress, sparkles, high heels, a ton of make-up, and more hairspray than you'd like to think) does not appeal to me. I understand that you are trying to sell yourself a little. After all, you can't meet someone new if they don't notice you. Yet, something always tells me that the ones who try that hard have more to show than they do to say. Maybe it's a little judgmental of me, or maybe it's just my instinct that if someone is trying that hard to lure me in, they must have alterior motives.

3. I like good conversations. Some bars are good for this. Mostly, those bars are full of middle aged divorcees and burnt out alcoholics. Otherwise, they tend not to be full at all. The bars filled with young single crowds always seem to blast with music. I like to talk a lot more than I like to dance. So, naturally, this is a poor environment to find someone that interests me.

Well, three reasons are all I'm going to pull out right now. So, let's get on with some analysis!

Back when you were in high school, meeting new people was easy. You were around hundreds of people all day and, with loads of free time, meeting friends of friends or going to local hangout spots was more a lifestyle than a choice.

College is a little tougher. With a lot more schoolwork, and most likely a job, there is less time to go out and meet new people. Also, all of your friends stopped hanging out on the street corners and local parks, opting for more secure spots like bars, clubs, homes, apartments, etc. If you are attending a mainly commuter school, meeting new people becomes even more difficult.  

Out in the working world, you have less of a pool to choose from. The need to remain professional with coworkers rules out many people you meet through work. More and more time is consumed by your career, and your friends only go out on certain days and mostly out to bars (which we discussed briefly above) or restaurants (which aren't a great meeting place for singles).

For everyone out there, in college, at work, or both, I have advice. Don't be shy. If you are at the supermarket, cafe, bookstore, library, or just about anywhere and you see somebody interesting, just say "Hello." Well, also say something interesting. You don't want to seem creepy. If you can't think of anything to say, look around. There has to be something that affects both of you that you have an opinion on. After all, you are in the same place!

If you need a more social setting to feel comfortable, there are still options. If you go to college (even a commuter college) there is bound to be some sort of recreation room. You can also join clubs. These are great places to meet new people who you already have something in common with. 

If you are out in the working world, believe it or not, there are places adults go for recreation that don't involve intoxication. Check out local parks, coffee shops, hobby shops, etc.

Now there are two important rules and they are not easy.

1. Don't be shy. You can't meet anyone new without speaking to them.

2. Don't go in with any expectations. Go out to have fun. If you are scouting for a hot lady, she will probably catch on to your motives.
3. When you talk to someone new, say something interesting, spark a conversation, and DON'T just use some corny pick-up line.
4. Be you, be real and don't lose your patience. Meeting someone special can take a long time. Remember, you are important and unique, so finding a compatible partner probably isn't as easy as you would like it to be.

Okay, so that was more than two...

Don't Call me, "Friend Request" Me

So, I was at a wedding last night and surprisingly enough, there were quite a few single females. After a few drinks in, I became a dancing fool/chatty cathy with lots of half-ass conversing and overt flirtatiousness going on. When it came to the point of being asked; "Hey! We should hang out sometime!", what I found most fascinating was, rather than any female jotting down my number, I was asked to type my name into the Facebook app on their iPhone, so they can "Friend Request" me ....this happened with 3 different females over the course of the night, I should point out.

As I reflect on the evening and sip on my morning coffee, I'd like tell myself that I got 3 phone numbers last night .....but I didn't. I definitely know I got something. There were obvious vibes and attractions. But now I'm supposed to do what? Give them my number via Facebook? Why couldn't have I just done that last night, instead of typing my name into their smartphone? 

I'm starting to feel old and obsolete, even though my refusal to give-in to technology is completely by choice. I think I'm the only 20-something I know without a fancy ass phone. Even my mom has one. Call me old-fashioned or stubborn but I don't understand why the concept of dating has to become more complicated. I don't care which mutual friends we have or how many photos you're tagged in. If you do, then you should put your phone down and get some fresh air. 

Microbreweries: The Next Great Date Spot?

Beer is no longer the desired piss-colored/flavored moonshine of shlubby men ....well, it still is, but if you haven't taken notice to the new wave of independent microbreweries sweeping the nation, then you must be a lonely bachelor who drinks 2fers at Applebees (no hatin'). Beer has developed a new sense of sophistication through these microbreweries and as a result, appeals to people of all varieties.

Finding a good place to have wine and a conversation has become pricey and rare. For us working class stiffs, we want to take a lady somewhere that says; "I'm cultured enough to not suggest a corporate establishment and possibly introduce you somewhere new ....because hey, I'm new to you and this is my subtle way of making a good impression."

Microbreweries are viewed with high regard for their creative beers, festive atmosphere, and individualistic charm. By taking your date to one, the same appeal may easily rub off on her perception of you. You're creative, festive, and an individual, right?!

A popular drink this time of year is the Pumpkin Spice Ale, with a cinnamon coated rim. Gents and dames alike find it satisfying, as it's not the kind of drink that suggests intoxication will ensue but rather: great taste + warm setting + nice conversation = a successful date.

Just like trying a new glass of Merlot, trying out a new craft beer may also result in a fun, adventurous experience .....just like your overall date has the potential to do.

Are you understanding the correlation I'm trying to make? Good. Then you've learned something.

Cheers!

Dating Etiquette 101: Manage Your Drinking

If you’ve managed to maintain a good conversation and have also managed your alcohol intake, you’re in good standing for another evening out with this enjoyable female. However, the biggest mistake you can make is having one too many Vodka Tonics. An even bigger mistake you can make is feeding your date too many glasses of wine …..or Vodka Tonics. Why the hell are you even drinking Vodka Tonics on your first date anyway?

If this female is someone you’re interested in furthering a near future with, it might be wise to ease up on pouring booze down your gullet, as well as your date’s. We all know social drinking helps shed some of the nervousness and awkwardness of a first date. It loosens the mood to make room for easier flowing conversation. Yet, “moderation” is your key word to success if you don’t want to transform into a sloppy, rambling fool. Too many drinks and you could potentially accentuate tiny flaws you may have not wanted to present so early on ….or you’re telling your date that you’re a problem drinker. Either one works.

It’s also important NOT to supply your date with too many drinks. Men tend to handle their alcohol better than women. There's physical proof. If you don’t believe this, then you’re one of those guys who enjoy getting their dates drunk in order to sleep with them ASAP. This would classify you as a D-bag. If your date enjoys drinking a little too much, she’s either nervous or she-herself could be a problem drinker …..in which case, you really know how to pick ‘em!

Tips:
 

1. Keep the drinking light. Know your limit. Analyze her limit. Don’t encourage her to drink more if she isn’t showing a desire to do so.
2.  Keep the conversation moving. Ask questions and be genuinely interested in what she’s saying. If she is someone you possibly see a future with, then conversation should flow naturally.

      3. If you’re not feeling it, definitely do not drink more in order to enjoy her company. You’re doing your date a disservice and you’re prolonging an early exit, if you’re too tipsy to drive.

Common Interests: Could it Cause Problems in Your Relationship?

While it’s important to try and share some of your lover’s interests, there is such a thing as too much in common. The work week can get pretty stressful, and we all need time to wind down, doing something we enjoy. Being able to watch a movie you both enjoy, playing tennis, or going dancing together are great ways to level yourself out again for the next week. However, everyone can use some space every so often that is just for themselves. 

Maybe she wants to have a girl’s night, or you want to play poker with the guys. It doesn’t mean they don’t want to spend time with you, and it shouldn’t mean the end of the world. It’s actually a perfect time for you to focus on yourself as well.

I was in a relationship that didn’t allow me to have these moments to myself and yes, it became frustrating. I couldn’t go help my friend build his computer or go to a job interview without her wanting to be right there with me. It ultimately led to the end of the relationship because it meant an argument, when she couldn’t go, as well as her becoming too dependent on me to be happy. No one likes that feeling.

Having time away from your mate is perfectly healthy and doesn’t mean you two are beginning to have problems. Don’t let that stop you from trying to enjoy some interests you have in common, but be sure to have something you do for yourself. Trust me, it could save a relationship.

Interview - Jazz Singer, JB Baretsky Talks Music + Dating

We caught up with the talented and well-dressed JB Baretsky to ask him some questions about romance, old Hollywood, and his upcoming debut single; "One Nighter" which is more of an emotional track than it is about his physical endeavors .....and he's only 24. WTH?!

TMMP: What's your favorite place to take a date to?
JB: The best answer is where I don't take them on dates, like anywhere that involves competition. So bowling, pool, and mini golf are all out 'cause I'd get way too concentrated on beating my date. I also avoid loud places where conversations are impossible. Especially if it's early on in a dating experience. I want to be able to get to know her.

TMMP: What's your drink of choice on a date?
JB: My drink of choice on a date doesn't waiver from my drink of choice period. Jack Daniels. On the rocks. Cheers.

TMMP: Do you walk a lady to her door at the end of the night?
JB: That depends on the girl..Recently that's been seen as kind of corny and uncool. But you need to feel her out (not literally). It's all about reading your date.

TMMP: How many dates are appropriate to get invited inside?
JB: Well, I mean from a guy's point-of-view, it doesn't matter because we're going to accept that invite regardless. But I'd probably say 3 to stay on the classy side.

TMMP: You're old soul. Who's your favorite Hollywood romancer?
JB: Humphrey Bogart - tough and rugged. And I mean, if that guy could get Lauren Bacall, there's hope for the rest of us.

TMMP: If you could be any actor in Hollywood history, who would you be?
JB: Any one of them who lived past the age of 70. So thats basically Paul Newman or Jimmy Stewart.

TMMP: What's your favorite song to make-out to?
JB: Nothing says romance like swapping spit to the soothing melody of The Safety Dance. No... Ummm actually, anything with a theme of love or loving or making love is good. But I think that music is very important to making out. I was watching a movie with Brad Pitt (he was starring in it, not watching it with me) and he looked fine and dandy and all. Then he got the girl on a couch, the music snuck in, and everything he said was just magnified a thousand times over. So I mean if Brad Pitt needs music, us regular guys must be desperate for some.

TMMP: What is your single; "One Nighter" about exactly?
JB: It's about two people who just want the same thing. They find each other, get what they want, and go their separate ways. It's a song of healing and being healed. Ok, maybe not healed but ya kno at least getting some peroxide on the wound.

TMMP: Would you consider yourself a player or a hopeless romantic?
JB: Hopeless romantic. At the end of the day, no one wants to end up alone. And I'm hoping to find someone, someday.

TMMP: Has your music career changed the way women look at you?
JB. I wasn't a head turner to begin with, and now that I have a career ...I'm still not.

*JB Baretsky's debut single; "One Nighter" will be available for streaming next week. Check him out here:

- JB's Facebook Page
- JB's YouTube Channel

Dating Etiquette 101: Effective First Date Attire

So, you've somewhat successfully met someone you're fond of ....Well, fond of enough to get more acquainted on a one-on-one basis. Many thoughts race through your mind in anticipation: "Will we connect?", "Will I be attracted to her under any light fixture?", "What should I wear?". Yes, believe it or not, what you wear can say a lot in your first impression.

Think of it as a job interview. You're accentuating the best parts of yourself in order to secure long-term employment in a new relationship. Don't therapists always say; "A relationship is something you need to work at!". What you wear tells your date a lot about how you carry yourself and quite possibly your exceptions.

If you're sitting down to dinner or just grabbing a beverage (hot or cold), you should ensure present-ability. Think about it... She's putting the effort in to make herself look good for you, right? What do you suppose she'll think if you show up in a pair of sneakers, shorts, and a t-shirt?

You can never go wrong with any sort of collared shirt (buttoned or Polo). A pair of slacks and a nice pair of shoes shows a touch of effort. The most important component to remember is to have your clothes form-fitting. Baggy = Sloppy. Also, it wouldn't hurt to pull out an iron once in a while. Attention to detail matters, whether you're aware of it yourself or not.

Believe me, this is nothing compared to the efforts women put into their presentation, just to receive a small compliment from you.

....and trust me me, compliments go a long way.